At Shibira, we hold a strong dislike for the word Viral. With “Viral” becoming a popularity descriptor, what shines in pop culture is more often than not, a mediocre expression of human creativity.
We’ve often been bemused at what pop culture has made viral out of Shibira’s online updates. We were overwhelmed by the avalanche of feedback to Gool Edward’s article here in Knowledge Hive! Readers own stories that came in, ballooned the caretaker fear & health anxiety, already in us since our guest and friend Aunty Gool fell sick. The feedback continues and was making it impossible for us to shake off the cross and write for Knowledge Hive again. But here we are, like Henry Fonda who threw up before each stage performance, back at it again. The Fear has not gone away but we have been inspired by a friend of Shibira, who has often been crippled by fear for the last 15 years.
We welcome to our Sacred Grove, our friend’s tools & resources on, how to beat fear with fear. Her resolve to make health & fitness a “Viral” trend, we hope, will inspire you.
As for us, we cannot aptly describe the self-disgust at having used the word “Viral” (the God of Creativity has not made an appropriate emoji}.
Here we go :-
Aruna Lawrence was born today (December 25th)- a day Jesus has already made famous for his tryst in the world. By her 30th year breast cancer made her a zero crippling her with fear.
Fear of developing cancer like her grandmother had driven her to self-examination and screening. Fear made her drive her doctors to identify what the tiny cyst in her breast was when they were positive it was benign. Fear made her change her doctors, to reach the one, who would be equally convinced like her, to take the extreme measure of complete mastectomy. Fear stayed with her, a five on a scale of 0-10, when her post chemotherapy prognosis was great. Fear spiked to 10 when the ten-year hormone therapy commenced. The therapy was slated to wreak havoc with her immune system, she would be immunocompromised, catch illnesses easily , from a migraine from direct Sun light to a skin burn from a mere whiff of hot steam, to very serious ones like early menopause, uterus cancer and obesity. Self-knowledge, fuelled by fear, kickstarted in her the skill of giving in to Fear and rise out of it to avoid the side effects.
The start up frame of mind
Aruna is pretty skilled. She isn’t a collector of Skills because that would imply a bit of selfishness but she believes that Human beings should skill because we are better off learning something new. It makes us more vibrant and empathetic. Growing up she hated Maths till 10th and then developed a love for it and went on to do her Bachelors in Maths and was a topper! With that came the love for anything that involved problem solving and aptitude, a skill that she would find useful, faced with her life’s biggest disaster at age 30. “Anything that scares you, tackle that first and be peaceful later and that’s why I chose to study maths and developed a love for it too!. Like I tell Jeff, you don’t like garlic in the food.. Take that, eat that first and then finish with it and enjoy your meal, she says with a smile. In the last 15 years Aruna has harnessed her inner Jill (of all trades). Her story can teach us how to develop a flair to learn new skills, to have the gumption to enjoy and excel at each until life brings around something new to learn again.
“I was always about me, myself and my family. My education skilled me for professional life and I have realised we should not just skill for work. That change in perspective has made me explore, learn and hone new skills. “
Aruna had quit her job at Goldman Sachs to take care of her new-born. When he was two years old , she decided to go back to work. This is when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Once done with the chemotherapy, the doctors told her about the side effects of hormone therapy that was to follow for the next ten years. “I could come to the next visit rolling like a giant ball of fat, my doctor had warned. It freaked me out. It took absolute fear of becoming fat with the medications that drove me back to the only form of movement I knew then – Dance.”
Claim your territory.
She stepped into her son’s shoes. “I had enrolled my little son into a dance class to see if he would pick up free style dance. At his age Dance was my happy place. Jeff did not pick it up as sports and music fascinated him more. So I used the remaining months of the package for myself. In just a few months instead of rolling to the Doctor’s chambers as a rolling big fat ball, I went as a muscular and very fit person. It was fun to see his reaction. Even though I was doing well physically , I decided I would focus on pursuing dance as a skill and never go back to work, the kind I had known till then..”
After six months, the owner of the dance studio where she worked out, took her aside and recommended she take up teaching dance! She became an instructor in that studio and for next four years till Covid hit she held various positions of program manager, event manager, mentor, centre head etc and honed her skills in various dance forms. Aruna started her own online classes. Skilled in various fitness forms like Bollywood, freestyle, contemporary, yoga, Pilates and callanetics, she curated her own routine of dance fitness. Aruna’s students who at the time were doing one form, for example yoga, started to see holistic difference in their mind and body fitness with her routine.
It was probably around this time that Aruna and her husband Joe Anthony Lawrence came to Shibira. This was a time when only those friends who promised, to leave the Kitchen, Fireplace and our Master bedroom in the Shipping Container, pristine clean, got its keys. Since then Aruna has come to Shibira at various times. Each time she is physically fitter, with a new skill and calmer.
When she first came she was into dance fitness. Today , she has choregraphed a lot of events for individuals & corporates.
When she first came to Shibira, she was a Yoga practitioner. Today she is all set to open her own Aerial Yoga studio.
When she first came she knew about and did not like Cult. Today she is their freelance trainer having won many accolades there including Cult Inspirers; Cult Fit Champion etc.
In her latest visit to Shibira, she skilfully set up her tripod/ camera like Influencers do, she organised everyone for morning Yoga, like a Yoga guru does, she corrected postures, like a teacher does, and she shared ideas of asana variations, like a mentor does.
“I worked on my creativity after the disaster and hurdles of cancer that threatened to trash my life. I was always someone who could turn trash into something beautiful. I adapted very quickly to the life after cancer and made it beautiful. I am very curious and details have my attention thus social connections have become a piece of cake for me. Since I want to touch as many lives as possible in a positive way, I have developed the skill to motivate and use creativity to make any situation lively. I step into the shoes of cancer patients I counsel, I hear them out and help them them to manage their situation and step out of their shoes once they are settled and composed and in the process developed Empathy.
Compassionate guidance is the best support
Using words like its going to be okay, be strong triggers stressful feelings in the person suffering. One must help person walk through the fear instead, because, fear never really goes away and it is fear that creates stress.
“I feared my hair falling off in clumps post chemo. And no matter who said what, the fear was so vivid that I shaved my head full of hair myself before it started falling. Fear developed in me the habit of exercising my arm all the time, even at a bus stop. This came from a fear that one of the side effects of removing lymph nodes in my arm pit was the danger of it ballooning to enormous size. Even through the post mastectomy surgery anaesthesia blur I could hear the doctor telling my husband to make me walk immediately once I woke up. I bolted upright to start walking. The fear fuelled act in the post surgery recovery room bed led me to pass out. All I recall is my husband calling my name as I fell back and then later was told that my BP dropped to 40, so bad that a blood transfusion was required”. she shares.
Aruna fears becoming jobless soon as a wife or a mom even though she has worked hard to make her family independent. The fear that people around her will become independent of her because of her health shortcomings haunts her.
“Despite the efforts I put in consciously and the support I receive from my family, negative thoughts arise. For example, I wonder if people around me are taking me for granted and not understanding what I am going through just because I don’t give in to sick feeling or the side effects of the medicines that I am taking, Once a year I do my mammogram and I am full of Fear till I hear the verdict. I cry it out when I fall sick and then rise to tackle it. I fear more that I may not be able to take care of my family when they fall sick. I fear that I might not be able to stay fit for a longer time and do whatever I am doing now. What if something goes wrong again? Am I independent enough to live after losing my dear ones. What happens when I get old and can’t keep up the fitness regimen or I become immobile because of health issues? she shares.”
Aruna does a lot of cancer counseling privately, in extended family and for corporate employees. She has been the brand ambassador for many awareness marathons. Starting from her first
marathon with a poster pinned on her back that said “I am a survivor. If I can you surely can” to
becoming a brand ambassador for the same run within a couple of years, she has come a long
way to promote the tag line “There is life after cancer and you can make it beautiful”.
We don’t have to be a certified counselor to counsel. Sometimes sharing our own stories can help people connect and open up, she says. “I have never hesitated to share my story with anyone coz for someone somewhere it might bring a change in their lives. I just share my experience with them. I am able to connect and empathize with them easily because I am sharing my experience genuinely with them and also understand their issues as a person who has seen some hardships in life like they have.”
How to Center ourselves and Self Soothe.
“The thoughts of Why Me / Self pity flow out of the window when you see tiny babies afflicted with cancer. They did for me. I am more of a “Try me” person now. This life I am living itself centers me. The thought that I made it and I am still alive to talk about it, that in itself is a great feeling.
I have brought up a superb son from 2-15 years while in cancer’s awful shadow. How self motivated he has been to protect me is a soothing thought. He takes after his father and is a blessing in disguise. At the young age of 2+ when I was fragile after surgery Jeff shocked me by instinctively coming to halt a metre away from me and then gently strolling into my lap for cuddles. Any knock at that time, even with a small excited 2 year old’s hug would have hurt me pretty badly. He instinctively knew that I was hurt and hurting. Another time I burst into tears when my brother refused to hold a public function for his marriage till my hair grew back and I could participate without being conscious. My little son ran across the room and slapped my sister in law I was talking to, thinking that she had made me cry. So I have spent the last 15 years trying to nurture that streak and make him as independent as possible for a teenager.”
Cancer is not fought alone. It is fought as a family. Good extended family and friends make a good support system. They make you feel that the universe is motivating you to stay centered, to be patient, to do the work of healing yourself and others. “The doctor expressly asked me to keep my diagnosis a secret from my extended family and friends. According to him it would be difficult to maintain the progress of climbing out of the stressful hole of cancer treatments because another person’s fears would keep dragging me back down.
I disagreed because why should I hide it as though it is some big mistake I did ? but he was right. I saw how even my mom reacted now and then and that often broke my resolve as well. She fainted in each step of my treatment phase. Like when she saw me go bald, when she saw me puke almost my intestines out, when I was bedridden and shut myself for a whole day because of the pain etc. She and me had both seen her mom pass away with cancer and my diagnosis devastated her. On the other hand my husband was rock solid and balanced everybody’s negativity out and had to manage her fears more than he had to manage mine.”
Aruna’s husband Lawrence, Not your average Joe!
Like Aruna, Lawrence, her husband too was just 30 when the cancer diagnosis came in so we asked him exactly how. It was fascinating to hear Joe Lawrence describe how he used faith, both religious and in medical prognosis. Joe had humble beginnings where his dad was the sole breadwinner and to take care of the family meant that he had to work extra shifts and most of the times, outside his factory shift timings. He saw his mom trying to share the financial burden by working and even when she stopped doing that she put her limited exposure to the best use. Joe was in NCC during his under graduation, held the Guard of Honour at 1999 for the President of India and the prime minister. Joe wanted to join the defence forces, cleared the PABT test to qualify for the fighter pilot evaluations in the Indian Air Force, but it was not meant to be.
“We came back from my South Korea posting around 2007 and Aruna joined Goldman Sachs and then we welcomed Jeff into our lives in 2009. She was preparing to go back to work in 2011 when this diagnosis came in. I took some time to process the grief and pain that had befallen Aruna and our small family and after that I put my brain to work on the whatnexts. Once she was out of danger after the immediate mastectomy , we moved on to reconstructive surgery in 2013 and commenced the hormone therapy that lasted 10 years and finished in 2022. I tell Aruna she is the second child of the family, we decided not to have “
He looks so sanguine that we have to ask if he has changed or was he like this when he was 30?
“I think this is who I am and the crisis just brought it out. I’ve insisted that we make cancer a chapter in our lives, now read and closed. I moved on from it pretty quickly and I suppose it had a positive impact on Aruna as well. Now, Aruna is very health conscious and is constantly tracking her parameters, which I try to veer her out of, unsuccessfully. I also understand the underlying fear of genetic diseases that she has, which keeps her finger on the trigger. As a family I love being part of all the initiatives she takes and Jeff and me watch and join her in awe. I am very proud of how she has grown and how many people she inspires everyday.
We wanted to understand Joe’s background too since where he is now, as our colleague in IBM, does not suitably spotlight where he started and what he has been through. Doing so also explains the strength that he brings to this enterprise that his family is.
“I joined a postgraduate course on merit where I met the pivot of rest of my life, my life partner, Aruna. She joined as a junior in the same college. Next three years until she finished her college, we were like besties. Soon after finishing Master of computer applications, I joined a start-up company as the first employee of that company in India. Those initial years taught me a lot too become successful in the IT industry. My bosses and my colleagues played a key role in shaping me up. A couple years later, took another giant leap of faith moving to Bangalore. Tata elxsi offered the initial offer and then transferred me to Samsung India Software operations as a consultant...
Samsung made me travel to Korea which opened up that another chapter in my life.. My colleagues in Samsung HQ at Suwon took care of me and that even strengthened my belief in humility and being grounded. IBM was a stop gap solution, which I thought would only last for 6 months. But once I got in, I could not find A reason to leave. The work, the people, the culture, the ethics kept me going. The folks that I worked with, especially Vishu, reinforced my belief in humility, leading by example. I am now an STSM at India systems development laboratory, which requires me to think strategically and align with IBM corporation’s goals. IBM is my happy place where I meet different people and have an opportunity to make a difference in their lives and career. IBM and IBMers have supported me when I was going through a difficult phase in my life. My belief in staying grounded and being humble is only strengthened by my time at IBM, ” Joe shares.
The experience the young family has endured, has taught them to teach, that women should be aware of their body as a living structure to be taken care of. Doing so would help women listen to it, even when it is softly whispering its troubles and avoid its screams which would arrive as a medical disaster.
Not giving their son, Jeffrey, a sibling is a small price to pay so long as the foundation of their family, Aruna, is healthy. That, she prioritizes self health even after the immediate threat has long passed is inspiring for Joe & Jeffrey.
Aruna says her intervention walking women through the fear on caution & precaution regimen, has made many women understand that, while scary, the regimen will help them escape a health calamity with just a few bad days. It is not bravery to proactively check-in with our bodies, it is just smart, just like the fear of the results of pre-emptive screenings is normal.
Speaking about procrastination and hopes that someone else should initiate the woman’s health journey, Aruna says “I see the resistance live at home. My mom has seen her mom suffer and die from cancer. She has seen me suffer and defeat cancer. And yet she can toil endlessly over a wedding in the family but waits for my dad to fix a doctor’s appointment when she feels ill. There is no way that any of us, women, can explain that we don’t have that half or one hour in a day to dedicate to ourselves for fitness. It should be like a habit, like brushing the teeth, which no one needs to tell us to do. We don’t need a fit body to try out physical activity options. We can start anywhere. We can eat right and eating right is the best diet plan.”
Aruna, a BSc in Maths, would have joined HDFC Bank but she bagged a merit seat for a master’s degree in computer application with which she joined Citi Corp in Chennai and her working life spans being a Facilitator in an international School where she had handled children with special needs and she is the evergreen entrepreneur who made customized jewellery (quilling, terracotta) and art works (Glass paintings, Fabric paintings, Clay models, Pencil sketches ) for clients. Goldman Sachs in Bangalore was where Aruna worked for three years before giving it up to take care of Jeff.
What she does now. however, probably is her Life’s best job = Helping others. Touching as many lives as possible. When we know more, We do better!
Our Teachers Day Sept 5. 2025 edit is up.Read How to gain Agency over your life and develop a High Agency Mindset.
On June 30th 2025 we published our 1st Anniversary Edition . Click here living-intentionally-can-make-all-time-a-quality-time/
Don’t miss our Feb 14th 2025 Valentines Day edit Make Space for All Kinds of Love – The Doctor Orders
Read Knowledge Hive’s first Christmas Post December 25th 2024 Click here to Read about tools & resources to use Fear to fight fear and Health Anxiety
Don’t miss our Third Post Click here to Read Live Life Gool Size – mental health resources & tools to age & fade away gracefully
Don’t miss our Second Post. Click Here to read A Zoe to Life – resources & tools to care for Aging Dogs
Shibira The Camp, Sakleshpur 